Our dad ... as observed by a stranger

Tonight I was with mom and dad as we walked down University Avenue to go see the pictures from our family photo shoot at Justin Hackworth's studio. Wednesdays are my night to eat dinner with them so I told dad we should go to the Black Sheep after we reviewed the photos. Black Sheep is a very delicious, new, fancy restaurant downtown that dad loves.

As we met with Justin, mom started getting a bit agitated and was acting up so I thought we had better go somewhere a little less busy, a little less fancy and that would take less time. I suggested that we go to Gandolfos, the little underground sandwich shop on our block. He agreed. As we walked in it seemed that the man greeted dad by name but I didn't hear clearly, so I wasn't sure. We ordered our food, got our drinks and sat down.

When our sandwiches were ready I jumped up to grab them and the man paused as he handed them to me and asked if those were my parents sitting over there. I said that they were and he said, "I have to tell you this. You parents come in here every week and a couple of weeks ago I cried for about 30 minutes after observing them interact. Your dad was so so kind and so patient with your mom. I've never seen anything like it. I don't even know them but I know he is a really good man. I just thought you should know that." My eyes were watering and I nodded because I do know that but to have a complete stranger recognize that and be so touched really got me.

I didn't mention it to dad and he didn't notice that I had started to get teary. After awhile, as we were eating, dad told me he liked coming in to Gandolfos when that guy was there because he really loaded up his Reuben sandwich.

Four years ago a friend invited me to make a presentation at a retreat on Science and Religion for science students at King's College London. I followed the approach the manual Teach my Gospel. I introduced the subject by saying that Sir Isaac Newton was accused of heresy because he foreshadowed Mormonism. He rejected the Nicene Creed because he believed the Godhead consisted of three separate personages as was taught by Christ. He believed there was an apostasy so he predicted a restoration of the Church as it was during Christ’s ministry.

When the presentation was open to question the first question was,
       
        “How can you believe this stuff?

I answered,
   
        “Joseph Smith left an extensive body of work. I have spent a large         fraction of my adult life studying, applying and validating everything         Joseph Smith taught. The validations were spiritual and intellectual.         Thus the foundation of my testimony of the Gospel of Jesus Christ has         strengthened over the years.”

I thought of this experience while going through the arduous task to getting my wife, Jewel, ready for a photo shoot involving our entire family––children, grandchildren, great grandchildren and their spouses, about 60 people. I was overwhelmed when I realized the role Jewel had played in all of these lives. She is a perfect example of a person who received “light” from God. “Light” from God is testimony. All truth is “light” from God.

The scriptures explain how to receive and validated truth.

D&C 50:24
   
    24 That which is of God is alight; and he that breceiveth clight, and     dcontinueth in God, receiveth more elight; and that light groweth brighter and     brighter until the perfect day.



D&C 52:12-19

12 And let my servant Lyman Wight beware, for Satan desireth to asift him as chaff.
 13 And behold, he that is afaithful shall be made ruler over many things.
 14 And again, I will give unto you a pattern in all things, that ye may not be deceived; for Satan is abroad in the land, and he goeth forth adeceiving the nations—
 15 Wherefore he that prayeth, whose spirit is acontrite, the same is baccepted of me if he obey mine cordinances.
 16 He that aspeaketh, whose spirit is contrite, whose language is meek and bedifieth, the same is of God if he obey mine ordinances.
 17 And again, he that trembleth under my power shall be made astrong, and shall bring forth fruits of praise and bwisdom, according to the revelations and truths which I have given you.
 18 And again, he that is overcome and abringeth not forth fruits, even according to this pattern, is not of me.
 19 Wherefore, by this pattern ye shall aknow the spirits in all cases under the whole heavens.
My interpretation. If you receive truth and follow it you will learn exponentially until you understand everything in the past, in the present and in the future. You will be a seer. You will know truth if you are faithful, contrite, humble, edified and if following this truth is fruitful.

These scriptures define Jewel.

Jewel has Alzheimer's disease. She was diagnosed over six years ago just after we moved into The Provo 4th Ward. She had symptoms at least two years before that.

Alzheimer’s disease is a form of dementia. It is caused by abnormal structures called plaques and tangles that disrupt communication between neurons and eventually destroy them. Alzheimer’s disease is a terminal because brain function is eventually destroyed. Other forms of dementia  are treatable. The conventional wisdom is that dementia is a natural result of aging. This is not true. Alzheimer researchers at Washington University St. Louis found the all cognitive loses are due to a medical condition––stroke, Parkinson’s Disease, heart disease, diabetes, playing football, boxing,et. Some people has undiminished cognitive skills even if they live over 100 years. The chance of having Alzheimer’s Disease increases with age. If you and your spouse live to be 80 the chances are one of you will have Alzheimer’s Disease. Alzheimer's disease is the most insidious form of dementia because it is so common and the chances of curing it are slim and none. I am Jewel’s principal caregiver. My goal is to find ways to help her enjoy the rest of her life. I believe this is the most important job I have ever had. Jewel deserves the best because she has given so much. If anyone is qualified for the Celestial Kingdom she is.

Jewel was born and raised in Pleasant Grove, Utah when Pleasant Grove was a small farming town. She went to BYU. We were married just before her first job teaching 4th grade at Westmore Elementary in Orem. I fell in love with Jewel because she was beautiful and fun to be around. I soon learned that the Lord had led me to an eternal partner with a spiritual depth that would enrich my life. She enriched the life of everyone she touched—our children, grandchildren, her students, the church members, the missionaries in the MTC, the temple patrons and workers in the Provo, Mt.Timpanogos, Washington D.C., Via Hermosa, Mexico and the London Temples. She is a human dynamo whose primary function in life is to take care of other people. She followed the commandments and applied every bit of “light” she gained from her home, from her extensive reading, from church, and from formal education. As a result she grew in her understanding and her effectiveness. She is the mother of nine children. She nurtured them and prepared them to follow in her footsteps. Generally they have exceeded our expectations. Since I am an only child I was fertile ground for her magic. She taught me how to be a proper father for a big family. She helped us through difficult times and taught me how to be a leader.

During her first year of teaching she would often be up at night worrying about her students. One such night I asked, “What is wrong?” She said, “Johnny is going to die.” It turned out that Johnny was sick but he didn’t die. She also had a girl in the class with a severe mental handicap. She taught every student in the class to empathize with the little girl and help her with her work and protect from verbal abuse from the other students and even some teachers at recess and during lunch. Jim Baird was also a first year teacher. He had another 4th grade. They collaborated. He ended his career as a professor of education at BYU. His wife told me a few years ago that he said Jewel taught him everything he knows about teaching.

In graduate school we were in a large student ward. She was the chorister for Junior Sunday School. In those days primary was during the week. The Junior Sunday School was huge––50-60 kids. This particular Sunday the Junior Primary leadership was absent. Jewel was all alone. She had to hold the children’s attention for the better part of an hour. She mesmerized the children. They listened to talks, sang, danced and marked around all the time focused on Jewel as if she were the Pied Piper. The Bishopric happened to be there that day. So was I. One of the counselors turned to me and said, “Does she do that to you?” I said, “She sure does.” The next week they released other leaders and called Jewel to be the Junior Sunday School president. It didn’t surprise me that the Bishop was later called to be a General Authority.

Jewel’s gifts were evident. She served in ward and stake leadership roles wherever we lived.

When the family was under stress she helped out. Our second daughter and our oldest son wanted to serve missions at the same time. She went back to school to help out. She enriched many more lives in the school system. She was a master at storytelling and read to the students when she was in the library.

She retired from teaching because she wanted to serve in the Temple. Although I claimed I was to busy she persuaded me to be a veil worker. Soon she was telling me I would look good in a white coat. I became an ordinance worker. She led me into one of the great phases of my life. If you want to receive “light” the Temple is the place to be. The Temple is the conduit of “light” from God.  If you are an ordinance worker the words of the ordinances are burned into your mind. You carry the essence of the Gospel with you always.

One day Jewel answered the phone. It was President Schultz, first counselor in the Washington DC Temple presidency. He asked if we would serve as ordinance workers in the Washington DC Temple.

She said, “Yes, of course.”

He said, “Don’t you think you should check with your husband?”

Her answer, “I’m sure he will agree.”

I arranged a leave of absence from my job and hit the road to Washington DC. It was another opportunity to use the “light “ we had and to grow.

I retired shortly after we returned home

Soon Jewel said to me, |”We need to go on a real mission.”

We put in our papers and soon we were off to Mexico on a Temple Mission. We served for six months in a small temple in the city of Via Hermosa. Then we were transferred to the London Temple. We spent 18 months serving in the London Temple. Then we returned home and Jewel was diagnosed with Alzheimer's disease.

The point of this story is that Jewel used her considerable social, spiritual and intellectual skills to always put herself, her husband, her children and others she taught and led in a position to receive “light” and to follow that “light” and grow exponentially. There are two aspects of exponentially growth––individual growth and the growth of number of people influenced by the individual. What are the fruits of Jewel’s journey? She didn't write essays or give intellectual talks. She just followed the “light” and became a remarkable person filled with love and understanding. In addition she helped others become remarkable too. I wish I could have conveyed this understanding to the King’s College students.

This example is the foundation of my testimony. It fits the pattern for receiving and validating truth. The results are sweet fruit. This is an ever strengthening validation of the Gospel––God lives, His Son Jesus Christ died to atone for our sins. Faith in Christ, Repentance, Baptism and sanctification by the Holy Ghost qualify us for His Kingdom. His true Church has been restored in these last days.

Jewel and I are on another stage of our journey. I can’t tell what she is truly feeling. She says she is happy. She says she loves me. She is still kind and gracious. She often struggles to express herself. She sometimes does outrageous things, but sometimes she is still Jewel. It is another growth experience for me. Jewel wears a mother’s ring on her ring finger. It has ten birth stones—one for each child and one for me. Ask me why she doesn’t wear her engagement ring.

I say these things in the sacred name of Jesus Christ. Amen.